fathers, and the Father

02.22.2009 by Tim Reed

For whatever reason, I found myself reading through a comment thread that was all about how back when the commenters were kids kids were really disciplined, why if you interrupted an adult you would be executed on the spot and afterwards you thanked your father for your death.

That may be a slight exaggeration. One commenter, however, seriously related a fictional story in which one of the characters (a young boy) nearly falls through the ice and into a river. His father just tells him he should be whipped for his foolishness, and the boy agrees. The commenter then notes that there’s no fawning over him after a near miss. This example is held up as the ideal and is contrasted with how terrible things are now.

Really? This is the ideal picture of a father? Because, I hate to disappoint everyone who yearns for mythical stoicism of the past, but if my son nearly dies I’m not going to tell him he’s stupid and I ought to spank him for still being alive.

Of course, the real issue here isn’t with parenting style, its with our view of God. God describes himself as our Father over and over again through scripture. When Jesus gives his disciples an example of prayer he begins with “our Father in heaven”. So, when our picture of the ideal father becomes a distant disciplinarian who barely blinks when his son almost dies, that’s not just a skewed view of what a father should be, its a skewed view of what The Father is.

6Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba,[a] Father.” 7So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
Galatians 4.6-7

4 Responses to “fathers, and the Father”

  1. mandy Says:

    I like this post a lot.

  2. Heath Says:

    Still processing this post, but my initial reaction is that discipline is an equally valid form of love as physical affection.

    The father in your story taught his son a valuable lesson on the value of life. The father was not being detatched. He was teaching through discipline. Why would you assume that it is not out of love that he teaches this lesson?

    I see your two verses and raise you seven:

    “And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
    Hebrews 12:5-11

  3. Tim Says:

    Heath,
    Sure, I see your point, but I’m not sure what kind of father doesn’t register relief when his kid has a near death experience.

    It’d be a bit like the father seeing the prodigal come in and muttering “I should whip you for that” as he walks past.

  4. Heath Says:

    As you say, it was a fictional story… And how are we to know what the father “felt?” We only know how he reacted, which sounds like a lesson being taught. I think we should assume that the father was relieved. I just think it is not always the right response to cauddle children who do dumb things. Sometimes a firm hand is the most loving response.

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